SOLVING THE MOMENT
A COLLABORATIVE COUPLE THERAPY MANUAL (2021) www.amazon.com
This book helps therapists with specific interventions, offers the thinking behind them, and provides numerous engaging dialogues as examples.
“Read this book. Treasure this book. We will always honor Dan for his profound innovations. We believe that his insights will become fundamental for your own success as a couples therapist.”
— From the Foreword: John Gottman, PhD & Julie Gottman, PhD, The Gottman Institute
“In this posthumous book, Dan Wile comes alive with wisdom, humor and compassion, as the brilliant couple therapist he was. His focus is on “solving the moment” – helping adversarial partners connect, creating a “platform” from which they can see their yearnings and vulnerabilities with empathy. Dan’s stance is collaborative and humble. Rather than exerting clinical authority from a one-up position, he is literally by a client’s side, articulating fears or hopes lurking beneath the fight. His articulation of therapist self-doubts humanizes the therapeutic enterprise. The book is refreshingly honest, funny, and instructive – a great guide for seasoned and beginner therapists alike.”
–Mona Fishbane, Ph.D, Clinical Psychologist, author of Loving with the Brain in Mind: Neurobiology and Couple Therapy
“Dan Wile’s final book distills a master clinician’s work of a lifetime. Unlike many texts on couple therapy, this book provides detailed suggestions for what precisely to say to help couples come together to collaborate – to “solve the moment” and reconnect. The book is free of jargon and even fun to read. As a fan and beneficiary of Dan’s writing and wisdom for many years, I guarantee that studying his clinical examples will improve your therapeutic skill. I heartily recommend this book to therapists of all levels of experience.”
— Arthur Nielsen, M.D, author of A Roadmap for Couple Therapy: Integrating Systemic, Psychodynamic, and Behavioral Approaches
The original statement of Dan’s approach, which some therapists say remains their favorite among his three books. Critiques the psychodynamic, behavioral, and systems approaches. Points out that many of the theories and concepts in our field are pathology-oriented and presents a nonpathologizing alternative.
“Among the best things I have read in years. Absolutely superb. Will instantly become standard reading for all my students and key materials for me to study over and over. Wile’s book is just beautiful, in the very top rank of anything being written about psychotherapy today and deserves the widest possible audience.”
— Paul Wachtel, Ph.D., author of Psychoanalysis and Behavior Therapy
AFTER THE HONEYMOON
HOW CONFLICT CAN IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP. Revised Edition. (2008). Oakland: Collaborative Couple Therapy Books. Written for the general public but also useful for therapists. Available from Amazon and Barnes & Noble (The one dated 2008 is the revised edition).
“This book by Dan Wile is a classic, now revised to offer couples even more insight into how to turn the maze of everyday conversations into a fascinating path that leads towards ever more intimacy and relationship satisfaction. Not only that, it is just plain fun to read!”
— Sue Johnson, University of Ottawa and author of Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love
AFTER THE FIGHT
USING YOUR DISAGREEMENTS TO BUILD A STRONGER RELATIONSHIP. (1993). New York: Guilford Press. You can order directly from Guilford (800) 365-7006 or www.guilford.com, www.amazon.com and www.barnesandnoble.com.
Built around a fight a couple has one evening and their therapy session the next day – with emphasis on the moment-to-moment inner dialogue of each partner. Constructed on the premise that any small piece of conflictual couple behavior contains within it the main problematic issues in all relationships. The therapist’s own inner dialogue is described, bringing out feelings therapists rarely reveal.
“An inspirational book. It is one of the most unique and creative books about couples I have ever read. It captures not only the subtleties of couple interactions, but also the nuances of couple therapy. I plan to assign this book to all of my graduate students, and will open it myself whenever I need to be reminded of how exciting it is to study and treat couples.”
— Neil Jacobson, Ph.D., University of Washington
“I am re-reading After the Fight and I think it is a wonderful book. Just really terrific. I think that the great strength of the book is the way it helps the clinician puzzle through the day-to-day workings of therapy”
— John Gottman, Ph.D., University of Washington