COLLABORATIVE COUPLE THERAPY

Posts in category Dan Blog

SOLVING THE MOMENT RATHER THAN SOLVIN...

March 16, 2012 Written by Owner

The quality of life in a relationship depends on the atmosphere the couple creates. At various times, partners feel angry at, out of sorts with, or cut off from each other. The goal in Collaborative Couple Therapy is to solve the moment rather than the problem, that is, to enable partners to keep these sour […]

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TRANSLATING YOU-MESSAGES INTO I-MESSA...

January 24, 2012 Written by Owner

The task in Collaborative Couple Therapy is to turn fights into intimate conversations— or to put it in Thomas Gordon’s terms, to translate you-messages (“You hurt me”) into I-messages (“I feel hurt and then I feel angry”). When one partner sends the other a you-message, we move in, speak for the former, and show how […]

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Memorial

Dan Wile: August 3, 1938 – March 18, 2020

A memorial service celebrating Dan Wile’s life was held in Berkeley, California on August 15, 2021. To view a video of the service, click the link immediately below.

Video of Memorial Service

You may leave a memory or condolence to the guestbook here: 

Dan’s Final Book – Now Available

Dan Wile Solving the Moment Book

Available At

Amazon – Paperback

Amazon – Kindle

Solving the Moment: A Collaborative Couple Therapy Manual

The book helps therapists with specific interventions, offers the thinking behind them, and provides numerous engaging dialogues as examples.

“Read this book. Treasure this book. We will always honor Dan for his profound innovations. We believe that his insights will become fundamental for your own success as a couples therapist.”

— From the Foreword: John Gottman, PhD & Julie Gottman, PhD, The Gottman Institute

“In this posthumous book, Dan Wile comes alive with wisdom, humor and compassion, as the brilliant couple therapist he was. His focus is on “solving the moment” – helping adversarial partners connect, creating a “platform” from which they can see their yearnings and vulnerabilities with empathy. Dan’s stance is collaborative and humble. Rather than exerting clinical authority from a one-up position, he is literally by a client’s side, articulating fears or hopes lurking beneath the fight. His articulation of therapist self-doubts humanizes the therapeutic enterprise. The book is refreshingly honest, funny, and instructive – a great guide for seasoned and beginner therapists alike.”

–Mona Fishbane, Ph.D, Clinical Psychologist, author of Loving with the Brain in Mind: Neurobiology and Couple Therapy

“Dan Wile’s final book distills a master clinician’s work of a lifetime. Unlike many texts on couple therapy, this book provides detailed suggestions for what precisely to say to help couples come together to collaborate – to “solve the moment” and reconnect. The book is free of jargon and even fun to read. As a fan and beneficiary of Dan’s writing and wisdom for many years, I guarantee that studying his clinical examples will improve your therapeutic skill. I heartily recommend this book to therapists of all levels of experience.”

— Arthur Nielsen, M.D, author of A Roadmap for Couple Therapy: Integrating Systemic, Psychodynamic, and Behavioral Approaches

 

More Books by Dan

After the Honeymoon

After the Fight

Couples Therapy

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