The principal means for discovering the conversation needed to solve the moment—and the signature method of Collaborative Couple Therapy—is doubling, an intervention originated by Jacob Moreno. Doubling, speaking as if you were one of the partners talking to the other, allows you to go: Within to bring out thoughts and feelings partners might be experiencing [READ MORE]

 January 27, 2016  Posted by Owner at 9:25 am Dan Blog 4 Responses »
Dec 062015

In Collaborative Couple Therapy, we try to turn what’s happening between the partners at the moment into an intimate exchange. We: Go within to elucidate each partner’s struggle—to find what each needs to get across in order to feel fulfilled in the moment, experience a sense of relief, and be able now to listen to [READ MORE]

 December 6, 2015  Posted by Owner at 5:03 pm Dan Blog 6 Responses »
Sep 302015

The Collaborative Couple Therapy goal is to get partners collaborating—that is, working together as a team. The focus is on how partners relate to each other about the concern at hand rather than on how concretely to resolve it. I call this approach solving the moment, by which I mean turning the immediate alienated exchange—the [READ MORE]

 September 30, 2015  Posted by Owner at 2:49 pm Dan Blog 5 Responses »

At any given moment, each of us has a leading-edge feeling—a thought or feeling that lies as the center of our attention and that motivates, intrigues, preoccupies, distracts, unnerves, or haunts us. The leading-edge feeling is what’s “alive” for us at that moment, as Marshall Rosenberg put it. It’s who we are at that instant. [READ MORE]

 July 24, 2015  Posted by Owner at 5:48 pm Dan Blog 10 Responses »
May 132015

The task in Collaborative Couple Therapy is to construct intimate conversations by helping partners confide their leading-edge feeling, often the one that’s rattling around in their minds making them uneasy (or, as Marshall Rosenberg put it, what’s alive for them at the moment). If they confide this leading-edge feeling—figure it out, put it in words, [READ MORE]

 May 13, 2015  Posted by Owner at 10:19 am Dan Blog 9 Responses »

This is the second of a two-part discussion of the tasks required of a couple therapist and how a collaborative couple therapist accomplishes them. In the previous writeup, I talked about three factors: the management of the session, who talks to whom, and the role of the therapist. Here I want to talk about the [READ MORE]

 March 15, 2015  Posted by Owner at 10:18 am Dan Blog 8 Responses »

As part of a recent workshop, I tried to describe the tasks the couple therapist needs to accomplish and the decisions he or she needs to make. These tasks and decisions include: Management of the session Who talks to whom What roles to take What skills to teach What knowledge to impart In the following, [READ MORE]

 January 11, 2015  Posted by Owner at 4:50 pm Dan Blog 5 Responses »

The task in Collaborative Couple Therapy is to become spokesperson for both partners—that is, to help them give voice to what they are struggling with. This task is made harder by our pathology-oriented language, prompting us to stand back in negative judgment rather than appreciate the client’s struggle. Many of the terms used for describing [READ MORE]

 October 6, 2014  Posted by Owner at 3:08 pm Dan Blog 9 Responses »

Our picture of the ideal therapeutic stance—the proper way to relate to clients—emerges out of our particular theory of the problem and plan of cure. Classical psychoanalysis sees the curative factor as arising out of the analysand’s projection upon the analyst of crucial unresolved relationship issues from childhood. The proper therapeutic stance, accordingly, is to [READ MORE]

 August 17, 2014  Posted by Owner at 8:51 am Dan Blog 11 Responses »

The goal in Dorothy Kaufmann and my Workshop for Couples is to increase intimacy between partners. With this in mind, we try to help them confide to each other what’s on their minds. Intimacy is saying what’s on your mind and feeling your partner understands. And it’s your partner saying what’s on his or her [READ MORE]

 June 12, 2014  Posted by Owner at 10:38 am Dan Blog 19 Responses »


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